As most of you know, I had surgery on my broken ankle a little over a week ago. I was put under general anesthesia and had numerous x-rays the week between breakage and fixage (I totes just made that up).
WARNING: FEMALE TMI AHEAD
A day and a half before I broke my ankle, I got what I thought was my period. My first off-birth-control-cuz- 9/1/09-we’re-gonna-start-trying-for-a-baby-period. Since my on-birth-control-periods of late have been ultra light and short I didn’t know what to expect.
So this first off-bc-period was short. But strange. But I didn’t think much of it. Cuz, oh HAI! Not only am *I* a cracker, but my body is, too (see: 50 days until a positive pregnancy test with the Little Man).
Friday, August 14th, 9am-ish, I break my ankle by (seriously) TRIPPING OVER A GAS HOSE THAT WAS PUMPING GAS INTO MY CAR at the Gas Station (as if that wasn’t clear). (Heh.)
WARNING: MEDICAL TMI AHEAD
I get numerous x-rays taken, a shot of morphine in the ass (doc asks, there’s no chance you’re pregnant, right? Me: No. Doc: SURE sure? Me: Like, on my period sure.), and a buttload of vicodin (ok, just 30) and a few valium to help me sleep.
The week leading up to the surgery, I’m on vicodin and then norco (twice as much narcotic painkiller and less acetaminophen than vicodin) nearly 24/7.
Friday, August 21st, 3pm-ish, I get my general anesthesia, some IV fluids, antibiotics and then more IV pain meds when I wake up.
Around 6pm the anesthesiologist comes by and asks about my pain and offers a nerve block — sort of like an epidural for your leg — and since I was kinda sorta hyperventilating from the pain, I said OH SURE!! Hook me up!!!
Before he started he jokingly said, “No yelling.” Then he stuck a bunch of needles into the back of my knee and top of my calf and jutted them around to hit all the nerves. A few of the nerves caused my foot and leg to twitch repeatedly and involuntary. It hurt a bit, but apparently I am awesome because he said, “WOW. You’re tough!” Which, DUH. (Snort.)
That starts to sink in but I’m still feeling some pain, so the nurse asks, “would you like a vicodin?” WHY YES I WOULD!! “Have you had these before?” WHY, YES, I HAVE!! “Would you like one or two?” TWO PLEASE!!!!
So I got two vicodin with a side of Sprite and graham crackers. By the time we left the Surgery Center, I was feeling no pain.
By the time I got settled at home, I was very, very high.
I took a norco before bed and called it a day.
Saturday, August 22nd, sometime-ish, popping norco every three hours, nerve block wears off, I start bleeding. NOT from my incision sites.
Hmm…that’s weird. I just HAD my period. Maybe it’s all the adrenaline and stress and trauma. (It’s happened before!)
Pop another norco.
Sunday, Monday, continue norco and bleeding. Appetite suppressed. Maybe the pills?
Tuesday, white wine spritzer. First drink in over a week. Causes heartburn. Strange. Same as above.
Wednesday, white wine spritzer. Same as above.
Thursday, something is wrong. I’m still bleeding (never A LOT). I’m slightly nauseous. I don’t want an alcoholic beverage (SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG)(snort). Maybe I should take a pregnancy test.
Thursday, August 27, 9:55pm, take a pregnancy test. Hmmm…there’s a faint line there…it’s getting darker. HOLY SHIT IT’S POSITIVE.
HUH.
Well. Hmm. WOW. Huh.
Warrior: How’d THAT happen?? We didn’t even…I mean uh….
Me: WELL I HAVEN’T BEEN SLEEPING WITH ANYONE ELSE IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE IMPLYING!!! (He wasn’t.)
Me: You think the baby’s fried? (Heh.)
No more norco.
Friday, August 28, Midnight, still awake. Damn fried baby thoughts keeping me awake.
9:10am, call the doctor.
9:30am, send Warrior across the street to borrow a pregnancy test.
9:55am, hear from the doctor. She acknowledges my crackerness in not so many words. (LOVE my doctor.)
10:00am, piss on a weird paper stick pregnancy test. Fail to realize that I PEED ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE STICK. BECAUSE THIS WAS SOME CHEAP ASS STICK THAT ONLY HAD THE PEE PAPER ON ONE SIDE OF THE STRIP.
10:02am, I am a pregnancy test failure. Null result.
11:00am, Warrior goes out for more pee sticks, dog medicine & food, lunch for preggers.
11:37am, Warrior home. I pee on another stick. Very clearly positive. (Oh yeah, STILL BLEEDING.)
3:30pm, go get blood drawn to test HCG levels.
4:30pm, Endocrinologist appointment. Thyroid still fucked. Let’s up meds to cover baby.
5:25pm, I think we’re getting a little excited about the idea of a baby.
Rest of the evening, I’m in a great amount of pain from my ankle and my uterus. More blood.
Saturday, August 29, morning, I feel nauseated. Good sign, right???
Sunday, August 30, morning, I don’t feel nauseous. I feel better! My uterus must be empty.
4:30pm, take another pregnancy test, IT’S NEGATIVE. Like I thought it would be. Cuz I felt empty. And not full.
Evening, hash out the negative test with my girls. Almost convinced it’s a fluke. Want to believe it’s a fluke. But I feel empty.
Monday, August 31, morning, I feel nauseous and dry heave a few times. Maybe this is a good sign? Slight headache coming on.
10:20am, attempt to get blood drawn. Dude can’t get no satisfaction from my arm. Goes for my hand. Ow.
11:00am, appointment with sleep doctor. I haven’t been sleeping. (More info in another post.)
12:20pm, I’m out to lunch with my Mother-in-Law, dining on tasty garlic noodles while my OB leaves a message at home saying that the HCG levels went from 287 on Friday to 193 today. Looks like an early miscarriage.
12:45pm, text message from Warrior checking in. Tells me his Big Boot remains for another three weeks (he broke his foot very badly on MAY 11TH. THREE AND A HALF MONTHS AGO).
1:38pm, actually get the message from my doc. Start to spread the word that there will be no baby this time.
1:50pm, take a norco and half a valium, as my headache has turned into a migraine and I’M NOT PREGNANT, so I can do that.
Afternoon, hash out my miscarriage with my girls.
UPTAKE:
80 hours is just enough time to get excited about having a baby. Even if it’s possibly drugged and fried.
—–
Please send me something funny if you want to do something at all. Or booze. Or chocolate. But please don’t send me flowers. (I hope this doesn’t sound presumptuous.)
I’m sharing this with you, not for sympathy (although that can be nice (heh)), but because that’s what “mommy bloggers” do, right? And hey, it’s easier to tell everyone at once. I hope the more we share, the more normal “these things” become.
I’m also hoping this will quiet the questions in my mind.
(((HUGS)))
Tags: loss, miscarriage, Mommy Blogging, Pregnancy, surgery
August 31st, 2009 at 7:09 pm
{heart} and cheers…. new bottle of gin getting cracked and sloshed straight at you via webcam. {snuggles}
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:12 pm
DAMN, I am sorry hun. I have had that happen to me, more than once.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Ooooh that sucks. I’m always afraid that’s gonna happen to me (especially after the crazy drink fest on Friday and then the weird illness over the weekend – I have the IUD but still am paranoid). I’m sorry, V. Not something anyone wants to go through! Miscarriages are crap no matter how it happens. I don’t think that’s something I’ll ever forget about.
Sarah and I will bring you all kinds of things that you can’t have while pregnant on Monday. Booze, sushi, deli meat, more booze…
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:17 pm
:0(
xoxo
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Oh Saltine, I’m so sorry honey. I’ll be there to rub your good foot and hug your shoulders on Monday. I love you dearly.
Want me to bring wine on Monday? I’ll get you drunk mid-day! I’ll get you drunk and push you around on your scooter!!!
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
I am very sorry for your loss.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:26 pm
*HUGS* indeed.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Awww, sweetie! I’m so sorry! Hope you’re feeling better soon… here’s some booze to tide you over in the meantime!
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Awww Vee..
i’m sorry, my friend.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:34 pm
all the love in the world to you, the pain you must be feeling is all too familiar
Im not particularly religious but this
http://www.innocents.com/shrine.asp
adding my lost babies and knowing that people remember and pray for them helped my heart
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Sending a case of wine to make up for the ‘cankles’ comment and another case just cause I think you need it. Love and hugs.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Today as I was getting in the shower the moosh said “HEY LEMME SEE YOUR BUTT”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes you shave it, I just want to check on things, make sure your butt is warm, it’s getting kind of chilly.”
Did that work? DID I HEAL YOU?
Anyway. I love you. Sorry about the ups and downs. Because DAMN, those are some ups and downs.
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Just perfect, Mol. Love you, babe. Thanks. xoxo
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Well, dammit. That sucks and though you aren’t asking for sympathy, I’m still giving it, because, well, that sucks.
And…um…I’ll clink my norco bottle against yours cyber-space like, ok? And then a drink in your honor this weekend..perhaps many. :\
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
[...] other news, could you please go give VDog a little support? It involves pregnancy and needs to involve the support of the Internets. (Or your liquor cabinet. [...]
August 31st, 2009 at 7:56 pm
heh, love the fried baby comment. I had that worry Every. Single. Time.
B/c I only think to test when the hangover lasts more than 2days. <–is dumbass
Hugs and sympathy to you, may you and your h be successful at "trying" in the mean time enjoy the practice;)
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August 31st, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Well that’s serious suckage! So sorry to hear.
Thank god for the Norco and Valium huh? Float well through the next few days!
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Love and hugs and strength to you honey. I hope you can find peace to rest and heal your heart and your ankle.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:04 pm
What a wild ride – you must have whiplash to go with that broken ankle. Glad to hear you have your own pit crew! Hang in there.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:05 pm
well. i guess the positive aspect is knowing that you can get pregnant so soon after stopping birth control. i stopped a week ago and i swear i’ve been ovulating every day since.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:09 pm
I had a pregnancy last about that long. It sucks. I’m jealous that I didn’t get some narcon to go with it, though. Hope your ankle is feeling better and your heart is healing!
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Wow, what a whiplash of emotions for you, kid! Very tough one. Sending much love…and liquor.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Damn, V. That’s horrible, I’m so sorry.
So, are you coming to Type A Mom Con? Because I’m driving over there, so I can bring whatever booze you need. Another ginormous bottle of Ketel One for my Room 704 beeshes?
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I have a hug. and my love.
I got no funnies.
Oh.. but, my fingernail is trying to come off because I’m a cheesy dork who when a camera is pointed at her and she’s cutting with a GIANT KNIFE she can’t do two things at once and slices through said fingernail and finger.
are you laughing?
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:34 pm
A joke from my 5 year old, that I’ve been hearing all day today:
Knock, knock
who’s there?
window
window who?
window are you made of glass!
I don’t really get it, either, but it cracks him up.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:35 pm
“Bummer” just doesn’t seem to cover it.
I’m so sorry for this roller coaster you’ve been riding for days on end….I truly hope for some peace and healing. Thanks for sharing your heart.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:35 pm
You have got to be kidding me. I’m incredibly sorry. xoxoxo.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:49 pm
shall I send you my Fling Bars? cause I totes would! x’s and o’s to you!
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:49 pm
So, 3 bloggers walk into a bar………oh wait that’s not a joke, that’s real life.
Love you!
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Hey there, I used to read your blog awhile back and recently re-discovered it. Moosh in indy said you needed some love right about now, so I figured now was as good a time as any to pop back in. Very sorry to hear about the shit hand you’ve been dealt lately. I’m all out of funnies at the moment but I should pretty much own half of the Hershey company with as much of their delicious chocolate I eat, so I’ll have a piece of that in your name. Hugs, mama.
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August 31st, 2009 at 8:56 pm
shit. I’m sorry. I would type a funny story but Allie just woke up and is screaming something about nightmares. BRB with a story!
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Oh, no. I’m so sorry, love.
The best “funny” I have was my favourite joke when I was 5:
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“It’s cute, but how do you breathe through that little thing?”
Apparently I went around telling it to EVERYONE…
*love & hugs*
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
What a week you had.
Apparently the husband was wrestling with my son yesterday and being funny, because today when I grabbed him to drag him upstairs – in a funny, playful way, he said, “You want summa dis?”
So, I know that doesn’t help but maybe, for a second, you smiled.
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Well, damn, Vdog. Wish I had some funny jokes or something. All I have is a used little bunny. And I’m keeping that.
love you totes!
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Nothing funnier then laughing at other people!
http://www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com
http://www.thereifixedit.com
(and some hugs from someone you don’t know (but has been there))
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:40 pm
xoxo
My god, I don’t think I’ve ever left a comment here. What’s up with that?
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:44 pm
too bad peopleofwalmart.com is down. it made me feel better…at least I’m doing better than *that* guy.
(((hugs)))
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August 31st, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Wow, talk about being kicked while yer down. I’m so sorry
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August 31st, 2009 at 10:19 pm
yeah, it totally sucks when you start to get excited and then “whoops” it’s all over. Like I was supposed to have Lasik and we were being uber careful and then oh, no Lasik because I’m pregnant (literally like 3 days before surgery) and then after I tell everyone – since of course they’re expecting the Lasik – a week later and there’s a miscarriage.
So I totally get wanting to tell everyone at once. I hope things do work out for you next month!
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August 31st, 2009 at 11:05 pm
i have a growth that MIGHT be remnants of a penis. i’m pretty sure my parents new about it, but dressed me in pink and braids. it was a 50/50 shot, and they got it right (i totally identify with being a girl), so that’s good.
just kidding. i mean about the penis thing, not about identifying with being a girl. because i don’t have a penis. or leftover penis.
i ran out of wine and i think i made this vodka/club soda a bit too strong. i’m hoping this comment comes across as funny and not creepy.
penises are funny. good drugs are good.
sending good vibes to you.
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August 31st, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Well that’s just not fair.
((hugs))
Why is it that I can think of like seventeen different funny things until someone ASKS for one? Sigh. I guess I’m not funny tonight….
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September 1st, 2009 at 2:10 am
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I talked to you today while I was squeezing bike tires, but all I wanted to do was squeeze you until your head popped off.
Now, for the funny, b/c I know my girl needs a funny.
http://www.ismileyu.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/true_love_motivational_poster.jpg
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September 1st, 2009 at 3:52 am
Aw sugar! Am sending hugs (will send vodka too if that works better).
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September 1st, 2009 at 4:25 am
Shit. That sucks… I’m sorry to hear it.
Keep up with the Norco and Valium for now… it’ll help. If not, there’s always alcohol and chocolate.
Try http://www.fml.com ~ reading about other people’s suckage sometimes helps.
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September 1st, 2009 at 5:31 am
whoa what a crazy roller coaster, and a sucky one at that
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:07 am
I love you. LOTS.
I’m sorry friend.
*hugs*
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:23 am
HUGS, love.
xoxo
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:36 am
I know you don’t want sympathy but I’m not very funny in the morning.
So I’m sorry.
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:46 am
Followed you from Twitter….and since I know you are a cracker….
(and I guess I am totes ((your word, not mine)) stealing this)….
BEWBS
That’s all I got but that word ALWAYS makes me laugh.
But then again…
So does…
BUBBIES
Hugs to you.
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September 1st, 2009 at 7:09 am
Oh sweetie – so so sorry.
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September 1st, 2009 at 8:04 am
I’m so sorry, ma’am. That sucks, no matter how you spin it.
When you are in the mood for a widely inappropriate and awful joke, holler my way.
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:03 am
Come to New york and I will buy you a drink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6_i8NTUbMU&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Efacebook%2Ecom%2Fhome%2Ephp&feature=player_embedded
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:09 am
so many ups and downs here I want to laugh because you are so funny but I am also so very sorry. I hope someone passes along something entertaining to read (did you read backapacking dad’s post at sarcastic mom today?)
xoxo
Steph
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:47 am
Y’all are the bestest. Truly.
Aiming on keeping the funny when life is sucky.
Big smooches to all of you. XOXOXO
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:52 am
Sorry to hear that. Wish I had a decent joke for you.
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September 1st, 2009 at 10:27 am
Oh honey, I’m sorry. 80 hours is long enough to get your hopes up. This I know from experience. Tons of hugs.
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September 1st, 2009 at 10:38 am
I’m sorry sugar. I love you.
Can we hang out?
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September 1st, 2009 at 10:53 am
I’m so sorry.
)
Here’s a joke for you:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
*snort*
(that one cracks up the 6 yr old crowd)
Hugs to you
(I still want to see the pre-op x-rays. Medical journals pay for images like that, maybe you could make some $$)
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September 1st, 2009 at 10:56 am
XOXO
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September 1st, 2009 at 11:13 am
Hugs
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September 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Damns, Mama. Here’s my list o’funnies:
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com
http://peopleofwalmart.com
http://failblog.org
http://myfirstfail.com/
http://thereifixedit.com/
Those will bring the LOLs.
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September 1st, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I lovez you, girl. ((hugs))
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September 1st, 2009 at 1:48 pm
So sorry to hear about this.
(I worry about this every time I drink …. ok, every morning after I drink 2 bottles of wine…even though it’s looking like its going to take witch doctor voodoo to get us knocked up.)
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September 1st, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Oh, I am so sorry.
We just started trying recently too…I worry about this all the time. Sending hugs your way.
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September 1st, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Hugs to you…
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:15 pm
oh honey (((((hugs)))))))
xoxo
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September 1st, 2009 at 6:57 pm
HUGS. Right back at ya.
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September 1st, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Vdog –
GAH – That is major suckage – hugs to your heart and your ankle.
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Jo Jo (age 5): “Hey Mom, if you try Nutri-System you could lose lots of weight!”
Me: “What do you mean, Jo Jo? You think I need to lose weight?”
Jo Jo: “Well, you got a lotta pounds on you.”
Me: “Wow. Thanks Buddy. You just made my day.”
Gotta loooooove t.v. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Feel better soon.
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September 1st, 2009 at 9:20 pm
well. that sucks.
hugs, honey.
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September 1st, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Late to add my 2 cents here b/c I was on a plane like all day yesterday and missed it…So sorry for your loss, sweetie. xoxo to you.
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September 1st, 2009 at 11:15 pm
((hug))
what a roller coaster, that sucks. I’m so sorry.
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September 2nd, 2009 at 5:15 am
Have you ever seen Howard Stern’s “Private Parts”? I love the scene after the miscarriage where he cheers her up by making some of the darkest jokes ever. You should go watch that.
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September 2nd, 2009 at 6:25 am
I have been on that very same roller coaster in a very similar way… I relate to you on all fronts and you know what? It is hard and it is sad. You will get through it and you will get pregnant again and this time you will be ready and waiting. I’ll share my story with you sometime if you’d like.
Much love,
Kelly
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September 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Oh no. I just now read this and I cannot even imagine. First stress, then pain then both all over again. I wish I had something remotely funny to tell you, but since I’m fresh out of wit, I will tell you that I’ve been there. Sans broken ankle, but been there nonetheless. A couple of times. I’m thinking about you and hoping that you are hanging in there OK, considering. On the bright side WOW you got preg fast!! That is a good thing
xo
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September 2nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Hugs to you lady. Big hugs and I can’t think of anything funny to say. Wait, I have a movie suggestion – how about watching Blazing Saddles while coasting on pain meds? Should make you laugh.
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September 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Hugs, honey.
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September 3rd, 2009 at 5:30 am
I’m here thanks to moosh.
I’ve done the miscarriage thing- it sucks a lot. So I’m sorry and I can’t imagine the emotional roller coaster you’ve been on. I’m exhausted just reading about the past few days in your life.
Hang in there. It gets better, little by little.
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September 3rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I’m so so sorry sweetie. Been there. Done that. Even presented a sweet little test in a stocking for Christmas to my hubby. Then bleeding and devastation.
I love you- I am here for you. I adore you! xoxox ((HUGS)) to my favorite friend!
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September 3rd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I’m so sorry. I’ve had one, too, and I still don’t know why. Hugs, love, chocolate, and your drink of choice. I wish I could do more.
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September 7th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Crap, kid. I’m just now hearing about this after happening to catch some really confusing and then definitely alarming tweets.
I’m so sorry. And yeah, I would have said, “Nope, no way I’m pregnant.” It took weeks of being sick before I realized that it was strange that my stomach flu was not contagious. And I wasn’t even bleeding.
Bleeding is like Nature’s Pass for “hell, if you have to deal with this bloody mess, go ahead and dope up all you want.” Rollercoasters, x-rays, vats of alky-hol, you name it. Total Nature Fail this time. Totes. (and I only use that word for you)
I’m just staring at the screen because there’s nothing I can say.
Love you.
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September 12th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
*HUGS*
We placed remembrance for Potential Little One into the Temple.
Will bring booze.
Love you!
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October 6th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Dude. I just read this. I owe you chocolate. The good stuff. Next week any good?
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vdogblog Reply:
October 6th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Awww, thanks hon. Chocolate is welcome at ANYTIME. xoxo
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February 4th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
[...] You may have heard about how I like to pee on sticks. You may have also heard about how I managed to fail a pregnancy test. [...]